Guidelines for Mindful and Multicultural Dialogue
Be self-tracking. Everything we do is optional. Say “pass” if you don’t wish to share. Pause the practice if it doesn’t feel good. Turn on / off your video when it feels good for you. Take short breaks, stand up, or move your body. Tend to your needs. Listen to your inner teacher first.
Commitment to curiosity. Be willing to try on new ideas or ways of doing things.
Confidentiality. When you take away learnings, don’t identify anyone other than yourself, now or later.
Equal participation. Take note of who is speaking and who is not. If you tend to speak often, consider allowing others, and if you speak less, consider speaking more.
Presence. Speak from the heart about what’s alive for you at this moment. Notice the tendency to intellectualize or to go into long storytelling, and see if they are needed to deliver the meaning of what you want to say.
Self-focus. Avoid speaking for a whole group or expressing assumptions about the experience of others. Share your own personal thoughts and experiences.
Multiple realities. When we say “but” between two statements, what comes after “but” negates what comes before. Practice saying “and” to acknowledge and honor multiple realities.
Spacious silence. Let there be a kind pause before you and others speak. By slowing down, notice what is arising in you and in others, and allow yourself a moment to collect your thoughts.
Deep listening. Listen with a compassionate heart and hear also what is being left unsaid. Notice what is arising in you. If your attention drifts, kindly bring it back to the person speaking. Avoid planning what you will say when it is your turn to speak.
Asking for permission. Offer advice, ask a question, make a comment or reopen a topic only when asked, or after getting permission. Trust everyone’s capacity to grow.
Intent and impact. There may be an impact even when everyone had good intentions. When there is impact, notice if there is any blaming or shaming, remember these are common and human tendencies, and express compassionately your observations, emotions, needs, and requests. When needed, remind yourself and others of these communication guidelines.
Additional Guidelines for Online Communication
Connecting. To connect with others on the call, keep your camera on as much as possible, or consider turning it on in the first and last few minutes of the call. If you like, share your voice by saying “hello”, “good morning” or “have a great day”. Consider using the chat window, the emojis, or your gestures such as smiling, nodding, putting your hands together, or putting a hand on your heart.
Grounding. As you sit behind your device, keep a part of your awareness on your body, where your body touches the ground, and the Earth underneath you. Be aware of your visual periphery to avoid hyper-focusing on your screen.
Muting background noise. Keep yourself on mute when you’re not speaking. If you’d like to say something, use the chat window to “raise your hand”.
Breakout rooms. Small group conversations are optional; feel free to decline the invitation and stay in the main room. You may use this time to practice on your own or take a break.
Presence. Notice what’s arising in you during moments of disconnection or trouble with technology; welcome any stress, fear, doubt with compassion, and if possible, lightness and humor.
Adapted from “Agreements for Multicultural Interactions at EBMC”, “Awareness Training Institute Guidelines for Mindful Dialogue”, and “A Clinician’s Guide To Teaching Mindfulness”.
