Introduction

Through mindfulness practice, and through our experiences in daily life, we can cultivate the following attitudes much like we are cultivating a garden. Your mindfulness practice will help cultivate these attitudes; these attitudes will help cultivate your practice in return.

These attitudes are all interconnected. When focusing on one attitude, other ones might show up as well.

You may come back to this list and enlist these attitudes whenever you need some help or guidance in your practice or in your life.

#1 Curiosity

It is impossible to practice mindfulness without curiosity. When we turn to the present moment, we turn to it to learn about it. We can always ask “What is here that I’m not yet aware of?” or “What is happening now?” and get new answers. If you find yourself bored or carried away during your meditations, you might find it helpful to get more curious about your experience.

#2 Kindness

When kindness is present, judgement and harshness disappear. Kindness arises from a more complex understanding of the situation and what might have caused it. For example, when kind, we don’t just see anger, but we also see the hurt and confusion that spurred the anger. Kindness helps us see the full picture, which is the aim of our mindfulness practice.

#3 Gratitude and generosity

Gratitude is the attitude of “I have” and “this is enough”. When we practice, it is helpful to be grateful for what you have achieved already, which may simply be showing up to class, or sitting for 2 minutes of silence. Generosity is linked to gratitude because it is easier to give from a place of gratitude and abundance, rather than scarcity. The more grateful we are for what we have, the more generous we will be with our time and efforts both toward ourselves and others. Similarly, the more grateful we are for our existing practice, the more generous we will be toward the practice.

#4 Acceptance

It is impossible to practice mindfulness without curiosity. When we turn to the present moment, we turn to it to learn about it. We can always ask “What is here that I’m not yet aware of?” or “What is happening now?” and get new answers. If you find yourself bored or carried away during your meditations, you might find it helpful to get more curious about your experience.

#1 Curiosity

A common misconception around mindfulness is that we are meditating to get rid of unpleasant experiences. A lot of us find acceptance very difficult. Why would we accept something we don’t find pleasant? The curious thing is that when we don’t accept suffering, we actually may add to the suffering. When we can accept and relax around unpleasant experiences they may become more tolerable. Acceptance is saying “yes I don’t like this, and this is the way it is right now”. But we can’t simply wish acceptance into existence -- we can only invite it in and learn more about the conditions it needs to show up more frequently.

Acceptance is not resignation. It doesn’t mean we stop trying to change a situation. Even if there is something we need to change, acceptance is the first and most critical step, and with acceptance, the force behind the change we initiate is healthier and wiser.

#5 Nonjudging

When we start practicing mindfulness, we will quickly realize that we always have an opinion about everything. Chances are that if we don’t have an opinion about something, it might not even register to us. We don’t really think about things that don’t matter to us. So what do we do when we start noticing the constant flow of opinions, judgements, assessments and evaluations? We simply notice them - we don’t judge the judging. Our brains are estimated to have 70,000 thoughts per day - this is part of our human experience. There is no need to stop this - even if we could. Instead, we just observe it. We see that our opinions are byproducts of a habit of the mind. With this non-judgemental view of judging, we don’t reinforce it further.

#6 Nonstriving

Nonstriving is being fully present in this moment without needing to change it. It is being present without any agenda. Not even the agenda of relaxing, or feeling better, or whatever other reasons may have brought us here. This is difficult because we live in a global culture of striving. Striving is our conditioning. We may find that we want to be “good meditators” or “good students”. We may find that we want to be healthier, wiser, happier. In mindfulness, we are trying to go from the habitual doing mode, to being mode, which allows this moment to be good enough, and invites in some ease. We try to notice striving, and how it might be creating more tension than needed.

#7 Letting go / Letting be

We usually have an attitude of aversion or clinging toward our experiences. We may hold on to unpleasant experiences long after they are over, even if the present moment is neutral or pleasant again. Or we may feel aversion to them, want to forget them and push them away. Same is true for pleasant moments. We don’t want good things to end, we try to make them last, and when they are over, we keep replaying them in our minds. This way of holding on and pushing away creates more stress and pain. It puts us in conflict with how things really are in the present moment. Mindfulness practice isn’t about keeping anything. With practice, we learn to hold things more lightly, see where we are caught, and let go or let be.

#8 Patience

We usually have an attitude of aversion or clinging toward our experiences. We may hold on to unpleasant experiences long after they are over, even if the present moment is neutral or pleasant again. Or we may feel aversion to them, want to forget them and push them away. Same is true for pleasant moments. We don’t want good things to end, we try to make them last, and when they are over, we keep replaying them in our minds. This way of holding on and pushing away creates more stress and pain. It puts us in conflict with how things really are in the present moment. Mindfulness practice isn’t about keeping anything. With practice, we learn to hold things more lightly, see where we are caught, and let go or let be.

#9 Humor

Jon Kabatt-Zin says “Life is way too serious to take seriously.” Humor allows us to take a step back and to laugh, to find amusement. Sometimes the way the mind behaves is really hilarious. Sometimes we get caught in the same mental traps over and over again. It is helpful to create more space around our practice by inviting in humor :)

#10 Trust

You are the expert on yourself. Nobody knows you as well as you know yourself. Nobody can make better decisions for you. We all have innate and deep sources of wisdom within. Our practice will bring us in contact with this inner wisdom. We can trust ourselves, we can trust the breath, this body that eats, digests, sleeps, works. Often we pay attention to a part of the body when it stops working. Mindfulness changes that - we will be paying attention and seeing how the body, mind, heart all work perfectly, and we will be practicing trusting them more.

If you get stuck in your practice, remember to trust yourself to find the answers in your own time. Your mindfulness journey is uniquely your own.

#11 A Beginner’s Mind

We often go into things thinking we know all about it. Or when we practice something for a long time, we stop taking a beginner’s perspective on it. Seeing a situation or person with fresh eyes and allowing new information to come in can be very helpful. It also allows us to bring a sense of awe and wonder. Zen master Suzuki Roshi says: “In the beginner’s mind there are many possibilities, in the expert’s mind there are only a few.” As you settle into your mindfulness practice, you might want to keep this in mind, and continuously put on the beginner’s mind.

#12 Playfulness

Play expert Dr Stuart Brown says that play is, by definition, purposeless, all-consuming, and fun. As we embark on turning mindfulness meditation into a constant practice in our lives, we sometimes forget that, in the end, we are practicing mindfulness to suffer less and to have more joy. We become too serious about it. Similarly, in life, we often get caught up in obligations and forget to enjoy ourselves. Having a playful attitude toward your practice might help you listen to what calls you, experiment, do things even when they seem purposeless, have more fun and get more out of your practice.

Sources:
Wolf, Christiane & Serpa, Greg. A Clinician’s Guide To Teaching Mindfulness. 2015.
Brach, Tara & Kornfield, Jack. Mindfulness Teacher Training Certification Program.