Loneliness and Isolation Living Abroad: A Free Talk and Guided Meditation
I live in Marseille. My family is in Istanbul. My closest friends are scattered across Paris, London, Istanbul, New York, and Canada. Some of my friendships here in Marseille are real, but they're new, only a few years old.
There are days I feel it clearly: I wish someone was physically here right now. And there are other moments, in practice, when something opens, and I feel connected anyway.
If you live far from home, you probably know this feeling too.
You're not the only one
In 2023, the World Health Organization named loneliness a global public health priority. Roughly 1 in 4 adults worldwide say they feel lonely. Julianne Holt-Lunstad, one of the most cited researchers on the subject, found that social disconnection carries close to the same health risk as smoking 15 cigarettes a day.
We rarely talk about it, because admitting loneliness can feel like admitting failure. That silence is part of what keeps it in place: we feel lonely, we hide it, we seem more distant, we connect less.
The particular shape of loneliness abroad
Loneliness when you live abroad has its own texture. Your deepest relationships live across time zones. You can't just call someone for coffee. The people around you now are kind, but they haven't known you long enough to know all of you. The people who do know your whole story are hundreds or thousands of kilometers away.
You might be doing fine on paper. Visa sorted. Apartment sorted. Language coming along. And still, underneath all of that, carrying something you haven't said out loud to anyone nearby.
A few ways to practice with it
- Self-compassion. Can the loneliness be painful without adding extra suffering on top? Acknowledge it, and offer yourself the kindness you'd offer a friend.
- Interconnectedness. Thich Nhat Hanh taught that nothing exists in isolation, that we are here to awaken from the illusion of our separateness.
- Being on your own side. In a lonely moment, what would you say to a dear friend feeling exactly this way? Try saying it to yourself.
- One small act of connection. Saying hi to someone you see regularly, inviting someone for coffee, saying yes to something you'd usually decline. Research on weak ties (Granovetter, 1973) found they matter more than we assume.
Listen to the free talk and guided meditation
This meditation comes from a live session I taught in my weekly mindfulness & compassion group, on loneliness and isolation living abroad.
[audio player]
No previous meditation experience necessary.
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